hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
