honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
