bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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