I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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