Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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