I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
