the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
