i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
