Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
