K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
