I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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