if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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