worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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