so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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