how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
