dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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