This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize