just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
