I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
