I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
