we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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