I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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