I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize