We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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