some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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