You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
