isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
