now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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