It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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