I must be too annoying 4 u.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
