she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
