I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Send help, water and tortillas.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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