Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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