you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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