9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
