I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can text with my tongue
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
third nipple confirmed
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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