I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
