We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
