Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
