my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
