I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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