just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
