Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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