I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
