I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
