I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
