She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
