my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
