your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
