let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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