I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
