a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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