I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
