I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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