i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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