Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
