Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize