I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
